He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we're making bets on your personal life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
