Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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