dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
