i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
50% drunk capacity currently
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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