hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
