i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
