Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
