You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
