Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize