she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
