I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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