I want to walk on stilts...naked
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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