A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
