so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
