How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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