New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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