woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
