Do you still have your period?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
