the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
