yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
