i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize