lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
