Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
