new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
this will be a night to untag.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
