Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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