will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
