Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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