jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
