she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
