Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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