They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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