Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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