if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize