Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
