he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
