Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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