im gay
i know
yea but for you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
