benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
