i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
