I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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