I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
