i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
