I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
