So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
