Cold hands, warm shart.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
