in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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