i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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