What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
