is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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