...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
