def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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