Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize