I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
