I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize