margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize