You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
