I wannas sexs uuuuu
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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