i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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