Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
too bad you live with your parents still
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize