Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
