lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
