we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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